I just got off what I’ll call the “local area AA speaker meeting circuit.” It goes something like this.
- You go to a meeting you don’t normally attend
- You’re asked (possibly even begged) to speak at next week’s meeting, either because someone wants to hear your story, or their group is small and they’re so sick of listening to each other say the same things
- You speak at next week’s meeting
- As you try to slip out the back door another person catches you by the elbow and asks if you’re available to speak at their home group the next town over
Seriously, these things happen in 3s.
In a way it’s fun because it forces me to mix up my story so I’m not telling it the same way. Like once I focused more than I would have liked on the past (#DrunkALogs #ItHappens), so a few weeks later when I was asked to speak again I hit the major lows of my drinking in 5 minutes and focused more on what recovery had given me and the negatives it had taken away.
The following weekend I spoke at a morning meeting with a unique format: they give you a sentence or 2 from the Big Book (generally based on a step) and you talk about how that section is working in your recovery. That was definitely an exciting one!
I’ve noticed something funny, though. Since this big slew of speaking and really being this cheerleader for AA, recovery, experience, strength, hope, struggle, and success, I don’t really feel like I have much to share at the moment. No tips. No secrets. No tidbits or huge spiritual shifts with profound implications.
I feel a bit empty, but not in a bad or concerning way. Like, I just want to go to several weeks of speaker meetings and hear other people share and keep my mouth shut. Soak up other people's sober-ness, you know? Even my Instagram feed the past week has mostly been pics from around my apartment and my work’s Hocus Pocus movie viewing. The quotes and recovery stuff will return, no question, but I'd rather not half-ass them.
Anyone else out there go through what I guess you would call mild-post-speaking-fatigue?